


Five Times Morgan Wanted to Propose, and the One Time He Did

by Itch



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 5+1, M/M, Proposals, candles and wine dinners, im really bad with tags, midnight beach walks, unsubs shooting themselves in the head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:10:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6688618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itch/pseuds/Itch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time that Derek Morgan tried to propose to Spencer Reid, he wanted to do it right. However, each time he goes to, something happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Morgan Wanted to Propose, and the One Time He Did

**_I ask you to pass through life at my side - to be my second self and best earthly companion ~ Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre._ **

 

The first time that Derek Morgan tried to propose to Spencer Reid, he wanted to do it _right._

He knew nothing in their lives was conventional, and it never would be. For them it would probably never be white picket fence with 2.5 kids and a dog. Mostly because of their jobs, though the dog thing was because of the Reid effect.

They’d been dating a year (12 months and 6 day according to Reid last time Morgan asked) and hadn’t even told their co-workers yet through fear of one of them being made to leave the BAU, or at least that’s what Morgan told Reid it was. Maybe he was a little scared of revealing he was in a relationship with Reid, so proposing would… cement it in his head a little. After those 12 months he still couldn’t entirely believe that Reid had chosen _him_ over anyone else. There was just something about the relationship he couldn’t place. Nothing to do with Reid, he was perfect in every way, no, something to do with Morgan. Every time he tried to work up the courage to tell someone like Garcia, or Prentiss, his mouth stopped working. So, he gave up trying, and decided they should have it in secret. Reid hadn’t taken much convincing, he was glad to avoid the questions and the secret glances he knew they’d get.

 “Morgan, I, what?” Reid stammered as Morgan opened the door to his apartment, showing Reid the dim interior that was illuminated simply by a golden glow from a few tall candles on the dining table.

 “What what? I’m allowed to make my handsome boyfriend a special dinner from time to time.” Morgan chuckled, taking both of Reid’s hands in his and pulling him into the room, leaning in for a gentle kiss. Reid hummed lightly into the kiss for a second before pulling back and looking at Morgan a little more carefully.

 “I never said that you weren’t allowed, I’m merely surprised by the fact that you have. Nice surprised though. It’s… it’s lovely. Thank you Derek.” Morgan traced a hand slowly down Reid’s cardigan before tugging on his collar a little, bringing Reid in for another quick kiss.

Morgan was going to propose after dinner. He wanted them to have drunk the wine and eaten the meal, and when Reid got up from the meal he was going to do it. Just, jump up and kneel down and _boom._ Of course, nothing ever was that easy.

 

Mid-way through the meal, during an intense discussion about the theme and issues in Vonnegut’s _Slaughterhouse 5_ Reid’s phone rang. Morgan had been smart, changing his and Reid’s ringtones so they knew when the team was calling so the other didn’t say something nearby and risk detection from the team. It was Hotch’s ringtone. The second it began he knew what was coming and put his knife and fork down. _Blah blah we have a case wheels up in an hour_ it was always the same.

 “Reid.” He mumbled through a mouthful of mashed potatoes, already placing the napkin back on the table. “Yep. Okay. Okay, I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and sighed, giving Morgan an apologetic look. “We have-”

 “A case.” He finished, picking his own phone up from the kitchen counter seconds before _Wonderwall_ started playing, his signal to his bosses call. “Boss. A’ight I’ll be there soon, I’ll swing by and pick Reid up too on my way.” Nodding at the phone he hung up and shoved the plates into the dishwasher. As much as he wanted to propose, there was no way he could, not right before a case. No way. It needed to be _special._

 

**_A relationship between two people can be judged by the list of things unspoken between them ~ Anna Carey, EVE._ **

 

The case was a hard one. Three weeks, and no one had slept more than 6 hours a night. Reid looked like he was about to shake out of the powder blue sweater vest he was in, and all Morgan wanted to do was wrap his arms around him and kiss his temple, telling him to sleep, but he couldn’t. One night he’d gone into Reid’s room and held Reid close so he could get some sleep, stroking through his hair the whole time. The only issue with it has been leaving in the morning and walking head first into Rossi, who was thankfully pre-coffee and therefore not the most attentive man in the world. After that though he couldn’t risk it. He’d just wait till they got home.

 “Got him!” The two words were music to his ears and everyone turned to his phone that Garcia’s voice was coming from. “His name is Alan, Alan Junder. He’s got a history of assault and a DUI back in 2001. Address is coming your way.” She hung up and everyone grabbed their vests from where they’d slung them from the unsuccessful address the day before.

 “We go, we catch this bastard, and we sleep.” Morgan muttered under his breath, catching a _here here_ from Prentiss and Rossi as they passed him. He glanced at Reid who was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “Hey, pretty boy, c’mon. Faster we catch this guy, faster we can go home.” He wanted to go home, wrap his arms around Reid and sleep for a day before waking up the next morning and asking him if he’d marry him, bathed in the early morning (or possibly warm afternoon) sunlight.

 “I know, ‘m coming.” He stifled a yawn, jogging out the room behind Morgan. The drive was silent except for the crackly voices coming from the car radio, directions and orders, telling them who would be where. His hands tightened around the steering wheel as he put his foot down. _Finish the damn case and go home._

 

 “I knew you were coming.” Alan growled at Morgan, his gun pointed at the dark-skinned agent.

 “I bet you did Junder, now put the weapon down.” Morgan wanted to sigh. Why did so many people try and fight their way out when there was a gun being pointed right at them? They should know they’re not getting out of there with any degree of freedom, so why bother with the stand-off? Perhaps it was just his tiredness talking, desperate to go crash out asleep somewhere comfy. He literally had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent him from swearing when Alan moved the gun away from the line to Morgan’s chest and pressed to the underside of his own jaw. “Junder man, don’t do it-”

 “How ‘bout I do anyway?”

The resounding _bang_ and the sickening splatter made Morgan turn away, his stomach heaving. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen or heard before, but at the same time he was too tired right then. All he’d wanted to have one case that didn’t end up with brains on the ceiling. Hotch came in, looking from the dead man on the floor to Morgan leaning his arm on the wall with his eyes closed.

 “Go on Morgan. You need to sleep.” Morgan pushed himself up back into a straight position and nodded, holstering his gun.

 “Yes boss.”

 

Reid was already waiting on the jet, a space next to him reserved for Morgan by his tan messenger bag. Once Morgan was on the jet the bag got slid off the chair to sit between Reid’s feet. Morgan fell into the space, eyes closing instantly. He’d ask Reid in a few days when they were more rested. What harm could a few more days do?

 

**_The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation ~ James E Faust_ **

 

Spur of the moment, that was Morgan’s thing right? He hadn’t planned on asking Reid out the first time a year and 4 months ago, but it had just happened. He hadn’t regretted it since, and he’d taken that to mean that spontaneity was a good thing. With that philosophy in mind, the next time it came to him to propose to Reid was when he had the man pinned to the door of his apartment, his hands tangled in Reid’s hair. His tongue brushed Reid’s lower lip, enticing him to open his mouth, give himself to Morgan.

 “Derek-” Reid mumbled into the kiss, his hands on Morgan’s shoulders. “Morgan I need to _go,_ I can’t miss my plane.” Reid was about to go spend a weekend in Las Vegas with his mother, and despite the fact Morgan knew that the words _marry me_ would slip off his tongue as easy as his own name right then, he couldn’t say them. Not when Reid was about to jet off across the country for a weekend. He sighed, then stood back, watching Reid straighten out his crumpled shirt.

 “I know you can’t miss it. Want a lift to the airport?”

 “Mm. Please.”

 

Sitting alone after dropping Reid off made Morgan feel almost scared. What was it about himself that meant he couldn’t tell anyone about he and Reid? Any other problem in life and he’d just call Garcia, but this? No. And he couldn’t even work out why, so he did what he always did when he felt this lost inside. He drove.

Ending up on parked on an empty road, he got out the car, the rain now pouring at a steady pace, soaking through his shirt in seconds. The rain had a cleansing quality about it, and it always helped him think. As he leant against the car two boys ran past, a basketball being thrown between them. As one of them caught it and shouted something to his friend about getting a scholarship into college, the jigsaw fell into place.

Morgan didn’t get back in the car for another few hours, and even when he did all he did was drive around some more listening to the radio. When he finally went home, he realised he had some texts from Reid, but all they said was that he’d landed safely, and that he loved him.

 

**_Sisters and brothers are the truest, purest forms of love, family and friendship, knowing when to hold you and when to challenge you, but always being a part of you ~ Carol Ann Albright Eastmann_ **

 

Midnight walks on a beach weren’t something that Morgan thought Reid would like, but judging by the delighted laughter coming from Reid as Morgan tickled him and spun him round, he was sure he could make this one at least bearable for him. He’d been home from Las Vegas for a month, and despite nearly popping the question, he chickened out. JJ had nearly caught them together and they’d spent less time together because of it. Morgan had sensed a change in Reid’s texts, he seemed more snappy, and they needed a date. He couldn’t lose Reid.

Ever since his drive Morgan was just that bit more defensive. He smiled less at Reid in work, called him pretty boy and kid less, sticking more to his name because he couldn’t risk someone putting two and two together. When in that office all he could think about was _don’t let them know._ It was stupid, and it was childish, but he couldn’t stop it. Hell he’d tried, but it wasn’t going to happen. He knew he needed to at some point come clean to the team about them, but… just not now. It was never the right time. It was about Reid, so it needed to be perfect, right?

 

He ducked his head a little, pressing little kisses to the side of Reid’s neck, making sure they tickled so to make his boyfriend squeal again.

 “Morgan! Derek, stop it, I- _ah_ stop it!” Reid cried, struggling weakly against Morgan’s grip as the stronger man spun him around again before they both fell onto a grassy bank at the top of the beach. He pulled Reid flush against him, their shared heat stopping either of them from getting cold as a breeze off the ocean blew in, rumpling Reid’s hair.

 “Mmmhm, stop what pretty boy? No way I can stop kissing you, you’ve got this bizarro ‘kiss me’ vibe about you right now, and I’m a vibe kinda man.” Morgan teased, brushing his lips to Reid’s who he knew was rolling his eyes at that moment. Sometimes he marvelled in the way that he knew Reid better than anyone else. Reid had let him into his life, and entrusted himself on Morgan, and Morgan wouldn’t tell anyone about it. That, that was why he was going to fight it with that question. He was _proud_ of Reid, and god he wanted people to know it.

 “I meant stop tickling me you, monster.” Just as Morgan was about to say he would only stop when Reid stopped being so adorable, his phone rang. It wasn’t Wonderwall thank god, it was just the generic iPhone ringtone.

 “Morgan.” He answered, leaning in to kiss Reid again before his eyes went wide. “Wait - really? She’s about to… okay, okay no I’ll jump on a plane as soon as I can. Yep. Love you too.” He hung up and Reid rolled off him as Morgan stood up. “I gotta- I gotta go, Desiree is having a baby, like, now, and I gotta-”

 “Go, go go go. Give them my love.” Reid grinned, running back to his car alongside Morgan, leaning into the one final kiss they shared. That was another thing he loved about Reid; he could read his body language so perfectly half the time Morgan didn’t need to say anything for him to understand.

 “Will do baby.”

Little did Reid know, Morgan’s family didn’t know about them either.

 

**_Don’t worry when I argue with you; worry when I stop because it means there’s nothing left to fight for ~ Unknown_ **

 

When Reid called and asked him to come round, Morgan accepted in seconds. He needed to see Reid. They hadn’t been alone in weeks, cases and _life_ were just getting in the way. The ring-box was burning a hole in the bag he’d brought with him. Today. It had to be today.

When Reid opened the door, he hadn’t expected to see Reid fuming with anger.

 “And exactly _when_ were you planning on telling me that your mother didn’t know about us?” He snapped, grabbing Morgan’s shirt and dragging him into the living room. Morgan’s heart dropped at the tone of voice, mind racing. How did Reid _know?_

 “I- what?” Was all he could manage to say.

 “I know I’m not big on social media or social cues and whatnot, but Garcia was on Facebook in her office whilst we were talking, and there was a picture of you with your niece, and your mother’s comment of one grandchild down, hopefully more to come? And then some comments from other family members, and her saying about how she hopes you’re going to settle down soon? She doesn’t know you _are_ settled down?” It was the first time that Morgan had ever heard Reid’s voice above a normal pitch, and he didn’t like it. The volume, nor the pure fury weaved into every single syllable.

 “Reid-”

 “No! Don’t just _‘Reid’_ me, I want an explanation Derek. I’m not a damn child! You either explain, or I’ll tell you what I think of all this.” Morgan stood, his back to the door, body going cold. Normally he wouldn’t shy away from confrontation, it was what he was good at, but this? This was Reid, _his_ Reid. “No? Okay then. See, from where I’m standing, you’re ashamed of me. You won’t let the team know we’re dating, not even Garcia, and you tell her everything. You haven’t told your family that we’re dating even though it’s been a year and a half since you asked me on the first date. A year, 6 months and 3 days if you want to be precise. I have to find out via _Garcia’s_ social media that you’re hiding me from your parents, which was even worse because how am I supposed to explain why it made me so upset when she doesn’t know!” Reid threw his arms up in the air, pacing around the room as he spoke, leaving Morgan stood stock still in the same space. “Is that it? Are you ashamed of me? Is it because I’m weird? Because everyone thinks you’re going to date a beautiful woman, and you’re with me?” Reid scratched through his hair, hand turning to fists and gripping at the chestnut waves before swearing under his breath. “Say something!”

 “I’m… I’m sorry Reid.” Morgan couldn’t make anything come out. He didn’t know how to explain himself. “I-”

 “If that ‘I’ is about to be followed be a sorry or a can’t, then do us both a favour and leave. Because I… I can’t Derek. _I_ can’t.” Reid turned his back on Morgan then, refusing to let him see the tears on his face. He knew if Morgan came over and wrapped his arms around him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear that he’d melt into the embrace and forgive him; but if-

The click of his door was louder than he thought it would be. When he turned around, he was alone.

 

Morgan was on the phone in the car, booking himself some plane tickets to Chicago. He’d _leave_ alright.

 

Hotch received a call the next morning saying he needed some time off with family, which Morgan was granted. Reid watched all morning for Morgan to come in. When he never showed up, part of Reid was glad, but the other shattered into pieces. Maybe he’d been right.

 

**_Love means to have the worst argument with someone and realise you’d rather have that argument with them than not have them in your life ~ Unknown_ **

 

 "Morgan?" Everyone looked up from where Reid had the pack of cards poised in his hands for a fancy looking shuffle he probably had mastered by the age of 12. "I thought you were in Chicago with your Mom?" JJ slid off the table where she'd been sat, smiling at him softly. Morgan was dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jeans, with his boots scuffed from where he'd run from the car to the office. His chest heaved, but he didn't look dishevelled, in fact, he looked like a man on a mission.

 "Yeah I uh, I came back early." He wasn't looking at his blonde co-worker who was somewhere in the middle of her second pregnancy. Instead, his gaze was trained on Reid. Reid shuffled in his seat slightly, not looking over at him but looking up at Rossi expectantly as his grip on his chosen card wavered, the card wiggling in his fingers.

 "You look like you ran from the car park up here, is everything okay?" Prentiss chimed in, she too standing in greeting to their co-worker.

 "Yes, I mean no, I mean..." He dropped his go-bag down onto the floor with a thump and stepped closer, noting the way Reid was avoiding his eyes. "Reid, listen to me. I know we argued, which was the reason I took off to Chicago." The rest of the team glanced at one another, eyebrows raising. An argument? Why had them two arguing made Morgan want to jump on a plane to his family? "And I'm sorry, I really am, because I was an ass when-"

 "Can we not discuss this now?" Reid hissed, shuffling the cards in one swift move, snatching Rossi's from his hand without looking at Morgan still.

 "No, we're doing it here and now because I got somethin' other than sorry to say to you. Listen to me. I know I screwed things up, I know. I know I shouldn't have walked out like that. I know it hurt you. I can't... I can't forgive myself for doing that to you just like so many other people have done, and being in Chicago made me realise that hell, you were right, and I was too damn headstrong to admit that. Guys, team, me and Reid have been dating under your noses for the past year and a half. A week ago, just before I went to Chicago, we had an argument. And when I say we had an argument, Reid was right and asked me to explain why I was hiding our relationship. I left. I just turned around, and I walked out, not even letting the door hit me on the way out. I went and got a red eye flight home. I went and spoke to Desiree about it, Momma, Sarah, wandered round my old streets and it hit me that... that Reid thought I didn't wanna tell you guys because he thought I'm ashamed of-"

 "But you are ashamed of me, aren't you, in some ways." Reid butted in, placing the deck of cards down carefully so not to make a mess. "Because you don't want anyone to know about our relationship. The only person that does is my mother, so in reality no one really knows." He finally looked up at Morgan then, surprised to see his meek stature. Morgan hadn't come for a fight. He came to explain. 

 "Reid, no. I'm not ashamed of you. I'm ashamed of _me_. My only experience with a guy other than you was Buford. And in my head, me admitting I was in a relationship with you was like letting him win. It was like... I dunno, I can't rationalise it, but in my head my brain was tellin' me that he'd done this to me, and that if I was in a gay relationship then it might even invalidate what he did to me, because obviously I liked it enough to do to other people."

 "But you're not him Morgan. I'm not a teenager who's got big dreams and no where else to do, I'm an adult who you don't seem to trust!" Reid pushed himself to his feet and Hotch cleared his throat, a warning to the two of them.

 "I know that Reid. I know. I went to Chicago, and I told my family. Desiree, Sarah, Mom, they all know about me and you now pretty boy, and so do the team if you'll have me back. I don't think it's even possible to even imagine the amount of 'sorry's I need to say to you to make up for the way I walked out, but I came back. I came back because if I can't fight this, he wins, and by him winning he takes away the most precious and good thing in my life. And I know I could have just come to your apartment and said this, but there's something else I wanted to say."

 

His hand reached into his pocket, and if he hadn't been a trusted FBI member everyone would have reached for their guns. Rossi's hand did twitch towards it before he looked closer at the bulge in the denim, the shape of his pocket and oh. The penny dropped, and Rossi's eyes went wide as he knew was Morgan was about to do. Morgan pulled out his hand again, fist closed around something so no one else could see, and no one else had done the mental math like Rossi. He walked forward to stand right in front of Reid, so close he could see the glitter in Reid's eyes that signalled he was nearing the point of tears. Slowly, so slowly, Morgan eased himself down onto one knee. JJ gasped, Prentiss' hands flew up to cover her mouth, and Garcia had to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming. Hotch's demeanour changed in a second, relaxing, leaning back, an easy smile on his face. Reid was trapped in by the desk, unable to move away from his boyfriend who was on one knee in front of him.

 "Reid, I know I was an ass, I get that, and I'm sorry. You have every right to be, and you should be mad at me. However, when I was talking to my Mom, she remembers the time you came with me to visit the old community centre, and she said that you looked at me with the same soft eyes that my Daddy had when he looked at her. Then she handed me a plane ticket and said go get 'em tiger. So I'm here, and I'm gettin' 'em." With a seemingly practised movement Morgan opened his fist, the ring box between his fingers opening along with it. " Doctor Spencer Reid, will you do me the honour of being my 187 IQ bearing husband?"

A hush fell over everyone as all attention was drawn to Reid who simply buried his face in the crook of his elbow from embarrassment and the fact he was about to cry as he nodded.

 "I- yes, yes, dammit Morgan yes."

  
  
**_Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favourite ~ Unknown_ **

**Author's Note:**

> uR WELCOME I NEEDED THIS FIC IN MY LIFE BECAUSE PROPOSALS ARE LIFE fight me @ synergygabriel on tumblr ok


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